Naruto's WHAT!
by Hattori Sei
Summary: Naruto's on a spying mission when something weird happens. And what's this about being in love and four fiancee's? RanmaNaruRanma Hiatus


Naruto was on his way to a spying mission on an island off the coast of Mizu. He was to discover the cause of strange happenings that were occurring. He disembarked and made his way to the site. It was a spring deep in the forest. It seemed that any man that went there mysteriously disappeared. He looked around, seeing nothing wrong. "_Might as well camp here for the night and head home in the morning,_" he thought. He unsealed a campsite from a scroll he had and started a fire. Then he went to the spring to get some water. Bending over to scoop it up, he noticed how dirty it was close to shore so, applying chakra to his feet, he walked to the center. But, for some reason, he lost his focus and fell in. He was suddenly submerged and felt kinda tingly all over. He swam to the surface and broke into the air, gasping for breath. He looked around to see…

…a mass of springs with bamboo poles sticking out of them. "_Where in the nine levels of hell am I?_" He pulled himself out and finally noticed something weird. Things weren't right. He was unbalanced and it felt like something was missing. He looked down to find…

…breasts. He had boobs. Then he looked down even farther to see…

…nothing. He was a girl. The once shinobi, now kunoichi, screamed. Once she had calmed down enough, she took off her hitai-ate and looked at her reflection. Her once blonde and shaggy hair had turned silky and a purple color that reminded her of a certain sadistic proctor's. Her blue eyes had turned an amethyst in color and sheen. She also estimated that she had grown a couple inches to maybe about 5'6" from her normal 5'4". That added to the fact that she now had Tsunade-size boobs (106 cm if you want to know. And it's the truth, it's in the manga) meant that her clothes no longer fit her. Drying herself off with some chakra, she leapt off to find civilization.

She finally found a village. She wandered in and tried to find a shop, but no luck. She stopped one of the many women walking around and was directed to a building in the center of the village. She stuck her head in. "Hello?" A wizened old woman with a staff twice her size came from the depths of the building.

"Yes? My name is Khu Loun; I'm the elder of this village. What do you require of me?" Naru-chan walked in completely and stood there acting like a certain Hyuuga heiress.

"Ummm… Well, first, I could use some clothes."

"Come with me." Khu Loun led Naru-chan to a bedroom. "You look to be about my grand-daughter's size. Choose whichever outfit you like."

"Sh-she w-won't m-mind?"

"She isn't here right now, and even if she was, she wouldn't mind."

"O-okay." Naru-chan went into the huge closet and found the perfect outfit. It was a burnt orange colored battle kimono that was just the right size. She took the red spiral off of her jacket and put it on the kimono. She also found an orange strip of cloth that matched the kimono, to which she attached her hitai-ate plate. Once Naru-chan was dressed, Khu Loun led her to a tea room. Feeling that she could trust this woman, Naru-chan told her the entire story of her life, including Kyuubi and her true gender.

"I see," Khu Loun said. "I was wondering why your aura was different. Don't worry, the change is not permanent. Cold water activates the curse, but hot water reverses the process. I do warn you though; those cursed by Jusenkyo tend to attract cold water, so I'd suggest staying in that form to avoid embarrassment."

"Okay, but do you have any idea how I can get home?"

"Yes. I believe that the combined power of myself, an old martial arts master by the name of Happosai, and a member of the clan of ninja in Japan should be able to create a portal. We should leave as soon as possible." Naru-chan leapt up.

"Then what are we waiting for!? Let's go!?" Khu Loun hit the girl in the head with her staff, but to her surprise, Naru-chan didn't react. At least, not in pain. Instead, she laughed. "Nice try, old mummy. But I get stronger hits from Granny Tsunade every day. It'll take more than that to hurt me." Grumbling, Khu Loun took Naru-chan to the docks. It took several days, but they finally made it to Japan. They debarked and Naru-chan leapt to Tokyo, carrying Khu Loun and following her directions.

-In Nerima-

Ranma-chan was walking down the road, grumbling, in a foul mood. She was wearing a Chinese outfit with fish paste on them, wringing out her crimson pigtail. "Stupid Ryouga. Have Akane, see if I care. I wish I could find someone for me, someone that I actually choose." Sigh. Then she saw someone bounding across the roof tops. Intrigued, she leapt into pursuit. To her surprise, it was a girl that seemed to be about her age. "Hi," she said once she had caught up.

"Hi," said the other girl. They came to a stop. Unknown to the other, they were both thinking the same thing.

"_She's cute._"

Ranma-chan stuck out her hand. "My name's Ranma. What's yours?" Naru-chan looked at Ranma-chan's clothes and started giggling. Ranma-chan faltered. "Was it something I said" Naru-chan shook her head.

"No, it wasn't anything you said, it's just ironic. My name is Naruto." Ranma-chan looked down at her own clothes and started giggling as well (If you don't know, the fabric of the outfit that Ranma wore to Picolet's was printed with pictures of naruto).

"You're right, it is ironic. Say, wanna be friends?"

"Sure."

"Okay. Say, where are you staying? I've never seen you around here before." Naru-chan looked down.

"I just got in town. I don't have anyplace to stay right now." Ranma-chan brightened at this.

"Then you can stay with me! There's plenty of room and the others would just love you. Come on." They leapt off again and didn't stop until they reached the Tendo dojo. Ranma-chan pushed open the door. "Hey everyone! I'm home!" Noise was heard from within, and the first person Naru-chan saw was Kasumi. She wiped her hands off on her apron and looked at the pair with her warm brown eyes.

"Why hello. Home so early? Oh, hello. You must be a friend of Ranma's. I'm Kasumi. Come on in, we were about to have supper." The two then walked into the dining room to see a normal sight for the Tendo household. Soun and panda-Genma were playing shoji, Nabiki was watching the news, and an angry mallet-wielding Akane was chasing Happosai around. Naru-chan sweatdropped and turned to Ranma-chan.

"You too?" This got everyone's attention. Everyone froze. Was this a new fiancée? Feeling the awkward silence, Naru-chan bowed. "Hello. My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I am Ran-chan's new friend." Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. This girl thought that Ranma was a girl. Akane stepped forward first.

"Hi Naruto. My name is Akane. Nice to meet you." Introductions went around and then they ate dinner. When it was done, Akane went over to Naru-chan. "Hey, Naruto."

"Hmm?"

"You seem pretty steady on your feet. Are you a martial artist?" Naru-chan blushed.

"No Akane, I am not. I am a… a ninja." Akane's face fell.

"Oh. Well, do you want to spar anyway?" Naru-chan grinned.

"Sure."

-After the spar-

Naru-chan and Akane both sat on the floor, panting heavily, their dark hair even darker now because of their sweat. "N-nice one Naruto," Akane panted.

"Y-you too Akane. I haven't worked out this much in a while. We should do it again soon."

"Yeah," Akane agreed.

-Later, in the bath-

Naruto sat in the tub, thinking. "_What am I going to do? I guess I should just tell them. Sigh._" He stood up just as the door opened, revealing a naked Akane. Naruto quickly closed his eyes and sat back down. "C-could you please get out Akane? I'll explain it later, okay, but I'd like to get out." Needless to say, Akane was stunned.

"O-okay." Akane got out and got dressed and went downstairs, getting Ranma and promising a surprise first. Soon, Naruto came downstairs calmly. He and Ranma noticed each other at the exact same time, taking in the other's features, Ranma's black hair and Naruto's golden, and said together,

"YOU TOO!? GREAT, I FELL IN LOVE WITH A GUY! Ah well, I can make do." And they did. They spent a lot of time together and eventually got married (not without protests from the finacees of course, but that's another story) and had kids. But you know, Naruto never did make it back to his world.

* * *

Fiancee: Part one: Xian Pu

"Aiya! Weird Ninja Girl no marry airen. Xian Pu marry airen." Xian Pu yelled at Naru-chan while attacking her with her bonbouri hammers. However, her strikes were intercepted by a long wooden club. Xian Pu turned to Khu Loun in confusion. "Why great-grandmother do this? Xian Pu must get revenge on Weird Ninja Girl for taking away airen."

"No Xian Pu. This girl has won honorary membership to the tribe and as such, has the right to fight for Ranma. However, she found a loophole in our laws that we had not found, believing our laws to be perfect." At this, Khu Loun gave Naru-chan a look that was a combination between a glare and thanks.

"What this law? How it keep airen from Xian Pu?" Now Xian Pu was slightly crestfallen, but also in awe of Naruto. This girl had, in a short time, found a loophole in a three thousand year old set of laws.

"Our laws state that if a outsider female defeats one of our own, the defeated must give the outsider the kiss of death, and the the outsider is a male, the defeated must give the outsider the kiss of marriage."

"That true, but how is there problem?"

"Let me take over baba." At Khu Loun's glare and signal to go ahead, Naru-chan continued. "That is true, but what your laws to not cover is what happens when the outsider is neither male nor female, as is such with those who fall into either Nannichuan or Nyannichuan. Ranma falls under this contingency(I know, a pretty big word for Naruto, but he learned from Khu Loun in this several days on the boat to Japan), so neither of the kisses can apply to him."


End file.
